How to stop overthinking after being cheated on | relationships

Some people experience betrayal in relationships, Betrayal causes a lot of pain and hurt within, we start giving up on life, and we are unable to trust anyone anymore.

Let's look at the reasons, why someone cheats on us, there could be many reasons.

What we often observe is that the current relationship itself is not strong. There are conflicts and arguments every day or differences in opinion, to the extent that it starts affecting the relationship, this means that the relationship gradually starts getting fractured and a lot of distance is created. You may be living under one roof, but may not talk to each other, unless necessary. At times, people do not talk for days. This creates an emptiness or void within, which we do not know how to fill. So, subconsciously, we look for someone outside to fill this void. Some become alcoholics or consume some substance to fill this void, as long as they consume a substance, they feel good because it helps them forget their pain for a while, by consuming a substance, they cut themselves off from reality and they get addicted to a substance, there is also a third possibility when we are empty inside, we could meet someone who appreciates us, respect us, loves us and sees our qualities. Eventually, everyone wants to be loved, everyone wants to be respected and accepted and when we start getting acceptance from others, we will start getting attracted towards them, this is such a slow process that we do not realize that we are getting drawn to them, where there is acceptance and respect, we are drawn towards it, we start spending more time with them. we like to talk to them, and we keep thinking about them and that feels good because we receive love and respect from them.

So one reason, for an estranged relationship is that there was already a lot of distance and to fill that void, the other person moved away, now instead of focusing on what's right or wrong, it's better to think about whether they are in pain or are empty within, and if I am on the receiving end i.e. if someone has betrayed me, than what's important for me is to think about my action, most times, we create a lot of hurt because of what they did to us. but whatever they did was their choice, be it right or wrong- it's their karma, and we cannot control their actions, so we need to shift our focus within, if someone does something, that is not right to us, then to get hurt or not, is our choice. No one can hurt me unless I allow them to, they might do anything, but they cannot enter my mind and create hurt within me. Only I can hurt myself,

When we constantly think about why our partner cheated on us, we keep repeating these thoughts and we think it's natural to get angry and hurt in this situation, but we do not realize that this hatred and anger is depleting us, not them. our negative energy will only make them go further away from us and closer to the other person, they will get pulled towards any source of positive outside because we are only radiating negativity to them, so they will get drawn to the energy of respect and love that they get outside. Our hatred, anger, and vengeance, empty us first, it creates suffering for us, it's as if, we drink poison every day and expect the other to die. This means we are creating negative energy and we expect it to hurt the other person, only I will get hurt by doing this.

We need to stop ourselves and ask, why are we hurting ourselves,?

They are not in my control, but our happiness is, why am I disrespecting myself by thinking negatively, someone wronged me, but why am I doing wrong to myself by continuously thinking negatively, this is not only depleting my mind and body but also my relationship with everyone else, as I become bitter and revengeful within. My negative vibrations and energy will radiate to others, whether they are my kids or in-laws. so, first of all, I need to heal myself by creating a positive relationship with myself. Adopt spiritual practices to heal myself, and then, make a decision for my life, whether I want to continue in this relationship or not, Sometimes, deep inside we want to stay with them because of our priorities, our kids and families are involved, so separating is difficult because a lot of people will get impacted by this decision. In that case, I need to work on my relationships and it needs a lot of effort on a daily basis. When we decide to heal ourselves, we move out of pain and our vibrations become positive, and when we start radiating love, respect, and good wishes for others, no matter how far our partner has gone, they will get drawn to us automatically, and also they'll start realizing their mistakes.

 

If one person decides to work on themselves and realizes the value of that relationship, value of their kids and families who are involved then they will put efforts into building that relationship, And the only thing one has to do is to think positively about the other person. When we are in pain, we also start doubting them, This negative energy of hurt, anger, and revenge will not allow us to rebuild our relationship, In order to do that, we need to first trust and forgive them, By forgiving them , we do not oblige them, but oblige ourselves because if we keep doubting them and thinking wrong, it will only deplete our energy. If we hold on to the past, it will weaken our mind. So, I have to release myself from this pain, by letting go of these negative thoughts, I have to make my karma right, by playing my part accurately . so, it's my choice, whether I want to separate or put effort into that relationship, I first need to heal myself, as soon as I am healed, my vibrations become positive and others come closer to me. So, if someone has betrayed us, let us not create hurt but heal ourselves and make efforts to heal that relationship.